Half great, half not.
Focusing on the NOT is seriously what i need to do because i'm so bloody pissed off. like seriously. I wonder if this soo call best friend of mine really knows me or not. because to me it seems like she know nothing to me at all. If i can, i would really want to be there to share her joy and everything, BLAH BLAH. so maybe i can remove the best. in a way i don't believe there is really such things like best friends. who knows one day something may happen and things change overnight. like crystal says and maybe i believe, there is no such things call 100% best friend. even as time goes pass, so called best friends will have other best friends. and there you go. buh bye. keeping everything just as friends might be alot better because in a way we will not get too overfriendly with one another. best friends i do not have, clique i sure do have :)
so maybe this is what i will stick to, no more best friends. uhh not even sammie, she's my beloved, not best friends. until somebody can show me. no wait. until time and everything around me proves. and in terms of fellowshipping, a disciple avails herself/himself. so go because fellowshipping brings you closer and of course, we see each other in a more natural way. but from the looks of today, i guess every perspective have to change and also be more sensitive to other's feelings.

if you refer to the uhm 30th jan 2007 post. i mention gridiron gang movie inspired me to do something. and that is to study psychology. for the past few days, i was wondering very hard whether i should put my interior designing first or to put psychology first since it appeared out of the blues. well finally i got the answer, i decided interior designing can come secondary and psychology, meeting people's need is more important then living in a nice house. like since the bible says what good does to a man who gains the whole world and loses his soul. yup so maybe this will be the direction i'm heading in till god gave me a new revelation.

Friday like many of you (infact the whole singapore should) know that it's the releasing day of gce o'lvl exams results. force by mr dominic goh to be there. it turns out to be quite a good experience. it makes me wonder what my reaction would be in two years time, will i be crying? regretting the fact that i slack off alot or will i be all smiles and satisfied with my results. how will my result be. more likely amaths result will stain my cert or will everything be up to my expectations. basically its a good experience despite all the efforts trying to run off.

Saturday was one of my greatest achievement, dancing on a $3400 stage and making ryan all smiles. It was one of the best. the crazy 4 hours dance may be tiring, crystal's turn to get spasm. and despite me still having spasm (long time since i give a damn. ). seeing ryan with all smiles, i can keep dancing all day long. till i die. his high expectations help us alot. in class we seem small, *ut when we reach the day we got onto the stage to dance this dance. 5 mins seems a second, all the hard work, scoldings and injuries seems like chicken feet. and thus bringing us to a new level of dance. Fellowshipping with Timothy and Wen Kai was good too. just we were too tired to talk much. or rather me. i forgot to kiss the floor and the next time i see it will be on the competition day itself.

We all should learn to manage our time wisely too. and put urgent stuff first instead of something so unimportant like the class tee. (i'm hinting who.) For now common test is the most important since it starts tml and uhh well who cares about valentine? except for those couples. currently it's god, studies and syf. the rest can wait. Well speaking about valentine, happy valentine's day to those couples out there in advance. and of couse friends i'm more close to :) like those i usually goes out with and hangs out with in school. and for me, i'll chiong through this three days like crazy, pull up my socks, finish this term. maybe go mia this holiday alone. like who wants to go with me? hah.

yes, i'm feeling bloody irritated, bloody pissed off, bloody stressed up. bloody disappointed in myself. for all i have done and regret this weekend, mostly today. i should go and repent already. basically what i've been through (i mean the hard times), i hardly tell anyone since everybody's busy with their own and i find no point telling, because i know what they will say next. like duh, standardise. and for those close friends of mine out there, sorry,valentine presents will be late :( and chinese new year is coming yes i know. but i don't see the need of buying any new things since in particular i haven seen my dad's side relative for exactly one whole year so uhm even though i may be wearing something for maybe 6 months ago, they wouldnt even know. as for my mum's side, buy a new top or two and settled it.

Oh digress abit, in Nanny Mcphee movie, Nanny mcphee said this:

" When you want me and do not need me, i'll go, *ut when you need me and do not want me, i'll stay."- Nanny Mcphee.

it's meaningful and maybe this shall goes into my principles now. like since then, i'll know when when people want me or need me. in this way, i shall appear when necessary. :)

i do not know what you' re thinking, i do not know what you're brooding about. but i can tell you it totally spoils my whole day.
sometimes you need me, sometimes you don't, most of the time you do not need me to be there. so i won't.

Labels: general

<3 ZOE. 9:08 PM